need to do some serious thinking..

It's hard to work as a secretary in a company full of politics and its even hard to work with a person who is in higher position.

My life in this company is no longer the same.. those people who boycott me used to be those i share my laughter & joy with. Due to some minor issues, we no longer talk nor share our thoughts together. And it happens because of my stupid mouth.. my brain ask me not to say it out.. but my mouth just cannot stop talking. See what have i done to them and of course the main important thing : MYSELF.

And all of them take whatever chances to "shoot, back stab" me.. they will take whatever they have - even the case where i accidentally include one of their staffs email in my company email. Why can't she ask properly - maybe something like " hey, u accidentally include who and who in the email and NOT like " u should not email him without my permission etc etc"

Office politics is something i hate and something i'm trying hard not to be involved with. But since i step on those ppl shoe, i seriously need to think twice whether can i / or should i handle all those criticism from them.....seriously am i in deep trouble

ANGER MANAGEMENT

I had enough of her shits... this time i'm going to fight on till i give up... or maybe till they ask me to give up. im not playing politics and i hate office politics as well.. but can't she respect the company policies & perhaps ME THE HR CUM BOSS PA.

She can do whatever shit she wants but please do not teach the juniors all the bad things.. internal policies !! BULLSHIT. if there is such thing call internal policies, then why need company policy ?? FOR WHAT... Company policy control and overule the so call internal policy - u DUMBHEAD.. as a senior management, as a mother of 1 and a boss to several people - can u plz use ur brain for even a minute ??? please ?? or u left ur brain at home ?

I'm tired all the games she's trying to play with me - but i promise i make her regret.. even to the possiblity of losing my job.. IM SO GOING TO BITCHSLAP HER TMM

pissed off

today.. im very pissed off with my boss. i don't know why but its getting harder and harder to understand him ... i have lost my respect - my trust on him. im speechless with what he did and what he said.

incident 1 :

i complained one of the senior manager to him - i'm not being prejudiced towards her.. but rules are rules, company policies are company policies,.. take it or leave it. i gather all my strength to complaint and yet nothing is being done.. except the senior management actually boycott me.. block my skype, show the super "black face - just like justice pau" when she saw me.. what the heck !!

i'm not angry at her.. why bother anyway.. but the only thing i don't understand is - what the heck are the management doing.. why that lady deserve so call 'special treatment" while others are being punished for the similar mistakes ??? i promise myself not going to complaint anything bout her anymore.. what's the point of doing so -- the bosses don't care and the only thing i get in return was BEING BOYCOTT

incident 2

there is this thank you dinner organize by one of the suppliers - invited 10 person from the company to attend and yet, my name was not being mentioned. i spend my time, my strength to do make sure that the events that the suppliers organize earlier was successful ( though there are mistakes here and there - but hey, that's not my fault - long story, continue next time ) Others who don't even contribute has the chance to join / participate while im not being invited / mentioned at all.. OH YA I FORGOT... THE SENIOR MANAGER ( THE LADY ) WAS IN CHARGE FOR THIS DINNER... no wonder i was not being invited.. oh well, IT'S MY FAULT TO KAYPO ANYWAY.. SERVE ME RITE

incident 3

i spend 1/2 of my sat afternoon doing something that my boss requested.. the first spreadsheet i gave him was wrong, so i take the opportunity to do it again by doing it right ON MY OFF DAY... i checked thru again and again.. and his response when i gave it to him was " got mistakes again" oh ya, the only mistakes i did was - to forget to put the header on top of each page.. i mean seriously, does he even understand how many hrs i spend on all this, checking and checking...

incident 4

i was in charge of some "major" stuff which needs the rest of the department admin co-operation.. but there is this particular lady ( in her early twenties - youngster ) who is either don't understand english, or my english is too broken to be understand... who purposely or unintentionally trying to make me vomit blood.. anyway, cut the story short, the teenager reverted back to me on the things i asked her to do - it turns out "terrible" - it was exactly the same thing that i ask her not to do .. i talked to her twice, email her twice, talk to her manager couple of times and it all ends up THE SAME.. FREAKING THE SAME MISTAKES... THE SAME PROBLEM.. i was pissed off and asked her manager to talked to her.. cos i don't have the rights to scold her.. the manager nod his head and continue to ignore me UNTIL my boss gather the rest of the departments head and tell this straight to my face " if the admin give me rubbish, i will held u responsible" - my first response was to point to the manager and said - " the things that the admin gave me was totally rubbish" the manager was so fucking mad and just walked away. hey is it my fault ?? i told him to tell her.. and nothing has been done.. the only thing i saw was that teenager was walking up and down - talking happily to other colleagues. the best part is - my boss told me " u know what is my definition of rubbish right - u still remember the thing u gave me on sat" -- oh i spend 1/2 of my weekend working my ass off for something which is rubbish to YOU.. good.

i know that im not a good worker.. i might be slow and blur at some time ( esp when it comes to numbers ) but i try my best. i worked hard most of the time.. come in early, go back late and even pop by the office when they need me during weekends.. and all this means nothing except rubbish to them.. well, i guess its time to get my ass up and start to look for other job.. find a better opportunity.. better boss.. and with better environment.

i had enough.. i cant keep living this way, so starting today, im breaking out of this cage.. im standing up, im going to face my demon, im "girly" enough to hold my ground.. i have enough, now im so fed up - time to put my life back together right now..